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Jen

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My Life...On The Inside [Tuesday
November 21st, 2006 at 11:20pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Last Sunday afternoon I was minding my own business at Robin's house (Yeah we all know that's a lie) when I get a text from Robin stating her unwavering need for her blow dryer. So like a little trooper I load up and drive the 12 miles to the motel she is at and give it to her. I sat on the bed talking to her and drinking a beer or two (really, I swear, it was just two) and texting someone else for a couple hours. I then decide it's time for me to head home so I load up and go.

I was cruising down Hwy 3 doing a mild 72 mph when a state trooper comes towards me. I immediately start praying to no avail. He whips it around and heads after me. I get my car all shut down by the time he walks up to my window and asks for my driver's license and insurance verification. Well it dawns on me that my license is sitting back at Robin's on her desk. I tell him that and then I confess to no insurance. He takes me back to his car and calls in my information and it comes back that my license is flagged, apparently suspended. I just looked at him and said "Guess this means you gotta haul me in?" He told me that was exactly what it means and asks me to step out of the car. I got out and turned around, put my hands behind my back and he cuffed me. (He was cute but that wasn't exactly what I had in mind for handcuffs.) He then stuffed me back in the front seat of the car.

He asked me if I had anyone I could call and I told him yes but I needed my phone out of my car because it had all my numbers in it. He went and got my phone out of the car and set it in my lap. While he was searching my car I reached around and grabbed my phone and started texting everyone to let them know what was going on. Each message that I sent simply said I am getting arrested. Billie comes back with Are you shittin me? Robin comes back with Yeah whatever. My kid comes back with OK. Then the trooper gets back in the car and says "No texting ma'am" and takes my phone from me and does the little drunk test with my eyes and his pen. I passed I guess. They came and got my car and towed it and then he took me to Antler's Jail. I told him this was definitely not on my top ten to do list before I die and he laughs at me. While in route to the jail my phone is steady going off with text messages being sent to me. (I saved them all and will post them here) LOL

After we got to the jail they ask if I'm violent and I said I'm mostly non violent. I started cleaning out my pockets for them. I had cash in each pocket, sorted out because of what each had to pay for. They pick at me cause I keep pulling it out. They inventory everything then tell me they need to inventory the clothes I am wearing. Of course I can't go to jail in a plain non descript t shirt...I'm wearing one that boldly says TESTICLE FESTIVAL! They fingerprinted me and I kept laughing. I told the deputy I know I probably should be crying and going all girl but I can't...it's too damn funny. One deputy tells me that I can now officially tell people that I've been in and I ain't scared to go back.

They finally locked me up. I was in there with a woman telling me her whole life story and a guy begging me to drop my cigarettes by the toilet. He wouldn't listen to me that they were in my car that was locked up quicker then I was. After about 15 minutes they come and get me back out cause my drunk friend Robin and the bondsman had finally showed up to get me. They did my mug shot which I couldn't keep a straight face for then had me signing a whole bunch of papers. Before I left they offered me a job. :) As I was heading out the door the deputy told me again to remember to not take shit from anyone and I left with these final words "I'll tell them I've been on the inside and I know how it works. I'll put the smackdown on your candy ass!" The bondsman looked at them and said "I can't believe you corrupted her!"

After I got out to the car I was finally able to read all the messages I had. Most were from Robin and I saved everyone to share here. Luvs ya bitch! :)

1) Yeah Whatever (when I got that one I could no longer respond to them)

2)Don't fuck with me about that.

3)Are you really serious, cause if not I will be pissed and if so do I need to call Lil Joe?

4)And if your fucking lying and I go to the police station I will kick your ass. Cause I'm fixing to head that way.

5)K I'm really upset now, went to cop station, can't walk in cause I'm drunk and I'm really worried now and if it's a fucking joke don't worry about responding.

By the time the last one came she called and found out that I wasn't playing around about it. I really was in there! LOL I went to court yesterday and they said if I bring my license and insurance verification back by December 27 they will drop all charges. If you ever feel the need to be arrested make sure it's near Antler's, Oklahoma. I highly recommend the people there. LOL

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No Fancy Title [Tuesday
November 21st, 2006 at 12:03pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I got arrested Sunday night. LOL

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No Smoking. [Thursday
September 14th, 2006 at 12:45pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

Yeah...about that no smoking thing, it sux. So far I am doing real good with it. I have smoked one pack all week and have bummed a couple from some friends. It has really cut my cigarette cost quite a bit. Although it has upped my friends cost a bit. So far there have been no deaths but the week is still young.

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Weird [Tuesday
September 12th, 2006 at 2:13pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Yesterday on my other blog I posted this:

I don't know why, but for some reason today I have felt like putting myself out there. I have considered signing up for the dating services and such but I'm not so sure.  I have surfed a few of them today and my prospects are kind of thin.  Not because there is a lack of men in my area or that I don't think they are good looking. I think they are all completely unoriginal.


One profile reads just like the next. If they aren't overly mushy then they are openly perverted. I mean really, give me something to work with other then I'm looking for a good lady, and I can rock your world like no other man. Or even I am an honest guy looking for an honest woman. Ummmm duh! I don't even feel sorry for the poor guys that advertise just how badly they were burned in their last relationship. You know I can swap horror stories with the best of them but I don't want to know all the crap before I get to know you.


And how bout this describe your first date thing? The usual response seems to be a romantic dinner and a stroll around the lake. Piss on that...you don't know me well enough to try and get romantic on the first date. Take me for some fast food and we can sit somewhere and just talk. Cause it's first date...I ain't giving it up! Or I will allow you to take me dancing...if you can dance. If you can't I will walk off and dance with my friends.


Then as the last and final straw you have the guys (I realize girls are the same way but I'm not looking for a girl) that are in love with the idea of being in love. These are the guys that tell you do not contact unless you are wanting long term. Well how the hell am I supposed to know if I want long term with you before I contact you short term?


I think I am gonna post a profile and be completely original and tell it like it is. I think I will be that honest person that all guys are looking for.  I will tell them straight out that I won't lie to you unless I think I can get away with it or unless I think I really need to. I will say that I smoke too much and on the weekends I drink to much and can usually be found showing my titties to at least one guy. (They can look but not touch.) I will also clue them into the fact that I don't care if you don't like my best friend(s) they were here long before you came along and will also be here long after your gone. (Also they will cover for any lie I might tell even if I don't warn them ahead of time.) And yes by dingies, my kids are way more important then you are!


Now... how is that for honesty? Think anyone will wanna date me?


Then I went and actually did what I said I was going too, here. I have been really shocked because I have been over run with messages from guys wanting to get to know me.
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Better Late Then Never? [Monday
September 11th, 2006 at 11:39am]
[ mood | blah ]

It's been so long that I don't even know where to begin. A couple weeks ago I moved to a new apartment. It's called an apartment but it's not really. It's a full on 3 bedroom house and I managed to cut my rent by more then half. I was only living in a tiny 2 bedroom house. The only bad thing about this move is I don't have any stuff. My poor little house just looks empty. But, then that's not all bad...less stuff = less cleaning.
Now for the juicy details of my life. There are none. LOL I have been so sick I haven't even felt like going out. I mean I've went out I just haven't felt like it. This weekend marks a close friend's 40th birthday. We don't really have a party planned for her but it's gonna be her night to get drunk and let loose. I was gonna have a stripper come in for her but it was pointed out to me that it would probably start more trouble then it was worth out at the bar. But, I was told by the owner that he don't care about it happening if I can talk one of the bouncers or another customer into doin it.
I have also come to the conclusion that it is time for me to quit smoking. I have always said that I can't just do it unless it is something I really want to do. I don't think it's something that I really want to happen but my body and my wallet are telling me it is time. A lot of times I go for hours without smoking and it really doesn't bother me. Then I will smoke one just to smoke one. It takes bad. I think now it is more of a habit then an addiction. I guess we'll see if I can boot it or not.
As a result of my summer cold that I acquired a few weeks ago, I woke up this morning without a voice. I feel good for the first time in weeks and I can't even fucking express that because I can't talk. It also just so happens that everyone and their brother wants to talk on the phone to me today. I'll listen and try to squeak something out...hope they hear me or at least make up something good that I might have said.

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What happened. [Saturday
August 19th, 2006 at 1:37am]
[ mood | Better ]

I got referred to a gyno. They told me I wasn't pregnant. The doc told me he is 90% sure it is a hormonal imbalance. He wants me to go to the gyno to rule out the 10% that might be cervical cancer. He said that most likely I will be put on hormones for the next couple months. Now I gotta figure out how I'm pay for it.

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A Little Quiz [Friday
August 18th, 2006 at 12:11pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Sex IQ Quiz Have fun with it! I know I did. LOL

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Sick [Friday
August 18th, 2006 at 10:38am]
[ mood | scared ]

For the first time in a long time I am really scared. I have been sick for about three weeks. I have a doctor's appointment on the 29th but it's one I am already considering running from. I know this is all an extension of earlier problems from a few years ago but, it doesn't make me any less scared. It does however make me want to kick my ass for not taking care of it when I had insurance.
I have had my normal pains for about a month or so now. Then three weeks ago I started my period. I didn't think anything about the pains because I normally always have them just before I start. Three weeks later I still have my period, kinda. I realized earlier today that I only bleed when I use the bathroom so it makes me wonder if it is just blood in my urine or if I am really still ragging.
I made the mistake of looking up my symptoms on webMD and I have now diagnosed myself with anything from a yeast infection to bladder cancer. None of my choices make me feel any better about things. Today I would love nothing better then to just throw up but so far I have managed to keep everything down.
I wasn't going to dump this here but I have to get it out because I really am scared this time and just don't know what I am going to do. If I could afford some of my other choices I would be at the doctor right now because I don't know how well I am gonna keep a grip on things for another week before I find out something.

Update:
I just a called a different doc and they are gonna get me in today. Let you know Monday if I find anything out. :)

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My Weekend :) [Monday
August 14th, 2006 at 9:16am]
[ mood | scared ]

Shit...I was gonna tell ya all about my weekend but now I have chickened out. What if he just so happens to surf in and see what I wrote about him? That might suck...but then again it might work out good for me. Damn...I am full on in the middle of a dilema. I swear there is a black hole that shows up in my life that sucks up my voice and my courage where all things HIM are concerned.
Honor, honey, to answer your question...no I didn't get laid. But, I almost did. LOL

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Salami! [Friday
August 11th, 2006 at 11:45am]
[ mood | Smug ]

I searched and searched and searched. I now give you Death By Salami

The body of Salah Addin Al-Salami, the Yemeni detainee said to have committed suicide at Guantánamo Bay detention center in Cuba, was handed over to his family after their demand to cross-examine and identify the cause of death was met.

Suicide by Salami counts as being taken out by Salami.
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Sorry [Thursday
August 10th, 2006 at 5:03pm]
[ mood | stumped ]

I lost my internet for part of the day so I couldn't find what I was looking for. But! Have no fear I will be on the prowl for it tomorrow first thing!

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What A Weekend! [Monday
August 7th, 2006 at 8:56am]
[ mood | odd ]

A friend came to work with me to help out last Friday. Something didn't feel right deep in my gut. It wasn't a bad feeling...it was just different. I looked at Billie and I told her something odd and out of the ordinary is gonna happen today. Not sure if it will be bad or good but different none the less.
The day went fine, nothing unusual. Friday night, was a different story. All was going well at the bar until around 1:00AM. There is a guy there that him and I have had some weird flirtation going on for a month or two now. It was all starting to come together Friday night and something was even mentioned about him coming home with us. It was just a passing thing nothing concreted in or anything like that.
Well, I went over by the bar and I had to squeeze by my flirting guy and a guy I can't stand named Shane. As I was passing thru Shane grabbed me and was holding on to me and my flirt guy turned around, saw it and I guess he thought I was happy there cause he cut his eyes at me and stormed out of the bar.
Now, I only know Shane because of a guy named Bob and a girl named Sharla. So, I go up to Bob and Sharla and I told them that because Shane just cut me out of my piece of ass one of them was gonna have to put out! I then went off and was dancing the rest of the night with a couple other guys that are friends. Bob and I joked back and forth all night while I was out dancing.
When the bar closed Bob was loaded up in the truck with the guy that brought him out there, Dick, and Sharla was standing there talking to him. I walked over and hopped up in Bob's lap and the three of us were just chatting. I heard the truck start and Dick said "This bus is pulling out with whoever is in here." Bob shut the door and off we went! I was in a truck with 4 guys. (Two of them were teenagers) I just decided what the hell, I've never done anything like this so I might as well just do it so I can say that I did. (I know not the smartest decision I ever made)We ended up at a truck stop to eat. I sat between two of the guys.
I was talking with Billie Saturday morning when the realization hit me. I think Friday night I did do something really odd that I am sure there aren't a whole lot of women can say they did. I sat in a crowded truck stop sandwiched in between: Dick and Bob! :)

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Goin Postal [Friday
July 28th, 2006 at 11:59am]
[ mood | cranky ]

I swear if I don't get out of here soon I am going to find out if I can really carry out the violent thoughts that keep running thru my brain! In about 8 hours I will be on my way for the weekend. I hope to come back the old me...not the new bitch me. I am sure that is exactly how I will come back but I am equally sure that within 10 minutes of being home the bitch will show back up. There are people living in my house. I have always loved these people but lately it's all been a little too much.
But, this isn't about them. This is about me. I want me back. I don't like the me that I am turning into. I don't like the fact that now I have hives a lot of the time because I am stressing out over this or that. I want to be able to let things run off my back again. I have never been one to worry over bills. The way I see it if I don't have the money this week, that bill will still be there next week. I know as an adult there is alway a bit of worrying that I need to do and I don't mind that. I am just tired of the constant worry and stress and being mad.
I started blogging because I really do have some funny shit that goes on in my life. With my first blog the funny stuff was there at the beginning. Somewhere along the way the funny stuff fell out of my head and was replaced with some cranky ass bitch stuff. I really want the funny back. I think in order to get the funny back I am gonna have to make some damn adult decisions and get rid of all the people in my house. I think that if I want to remain friends with these people I am gonna have to do it soon.
I think that is what I am gonna do. But first I am gonna enjoy my weekend and live in my little fantasy world that this whole problem will take care of itself while I am out of town. It could happen!

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Random-ness [Thursday
July 27th, 2006 at 2:57pm]
[ mood | Frigged Up ]

There is so many things swimming in my brain today that I can't make them all coherent enough to write about just one thing. So...on with the random:

1. My electricity got shut off this morning. It ticks me off because for once I can honestly say, and if you know the story you will agree, it's not my fault. THEY screwed up and now I'm gonna have to pay for it. Hope they aren't in desperate need of my $400 anytime soon cause I don't have it. I'll be in the dark for a few weeks.

2. I really love the people that are living with me right now. We have all been friends for years. Honestly, I can feel a very strong dislike for them setting in.

3. I hope it don't get stinky around my house. I have water but don't have hot water. I don't mind the cold shower thing and as hot as it is hopefully no one else will either.

4. I think what I am gonna do for the next couple of weeks is this: I'm still gonna go out like normal. Instead of letting everyone buy me a beer like normal I am just gonna have a collection jar and when anyone asks me if I need another beer I'm gonna hand them the jar and let them put that dollar in it. I'll stay sober for once and get the money to pay that electric bill.

5. I have been seriously thinking about attempting to quit smoking. Giving the current state of bitchiness that I have been in the past couple weeks I have to wonder if it's a good idea to try it now. If you happen to look up in the sky and see a giant mushroom cloud over Valliant some day then you will know that I attempted it.

6. I look like shit today. Not because of the no electric. My boss is always yanking on me because I don't wear shoes. I told him it could be worse and that I would show him how. I came to work today just as I got out of bed; hair not brushed, no make up and pj's. He hasn't said one word about me not having shoes on.

7. To everyone and everything that has pissed me off lately:

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Bullshit [Wednesday
July 26th, 2006 at 2:38pm]
This is just a bullshit post so I can play around with my settings. I have nothing real to say but no surprise there. I rarely have anything real to say.
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